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by Jennifer Stewart
Did you know that the English language has an estimated
vocabulary of a million words? We have words to describe every object,
movement, feeling and thought on the planet; we can pinpoint each
little nuance of meaning, simply by choosing the right word for the
right spot.
Isn't that incredible? What bounty!
Shakespeare, who was one of our most prolific and enduring
writers, used approximately 22,000 different words in his published
works. Well-educated people today, use about 5,000 different words
when speaking and about 10,000 in their writing. Most of us have a
'working vocabulary' of 2,000 and the most commonly words used are:
the, of, and, to, a, in, that, is, I, it.
Isn't that scary? What a waste!
Those ten little words (and I do mean little), account
for 25% of all speech.
There is a group of fifty words, which make up 60%
of everything we say - and only two of these have more than one syllable
- which brings us to....
Welcome to My Home Page.
Wouldn't you like a dollar for every time you've seen
those words? What do they tell you about the site you're visiting?
Not a lot.
You're searching for the world's best advertising tips....
you find the URL ..... the excitement mounts as you wait for the page
to load ..... and what greets you? Welcome to My Home Page.
You want to tell the world about your collection of
antique whalebone knitting needles - you have images so real they
leap off the page and poke you in the eye, you have maps of the areas
where they're still used, you've included diagrams of how to make
your own - and what greets the visitor to your page? Welcome to My
Home Page.....
I could go on (and on and on ...) but I think you get
the picture.
How to Write a Better Headline
Given that there are approximately 998,000 words knocking about that
we rarely use, it should be a simple matter to improve on the Welcome
to My Home Page style of headline!
If someone asks you what your site is about, what do
you say? (I bet it's not, Welcome to My Home Page.)
So, how do you start to write a better headline?
- Think about the content of your site and try to describe it
in about ten words or less.
-
-
List all the words that describe what your site
contains. It might be software / soccer balls / scouts' tents
/ summer vacation snaps / whatever.....
-
Then list a few words to explain what your site
offers - a behind the scenes look at cake decorating / the best
camping spots on the east coast / free trial programs / help with
writing / a guide to taxation ....
-
Now, look at what you've written and cross out
any words you've used more than once.
-
Look at all the nouns and verbs you've used and
try to think of at least two synonyms for each (synonyms are words
which have similar meanings). Grab a thesaurus and check for more.
-
Play around with these words until you come up
with a short statement that captures what your site is. Read each
headline out aloud to yourself. Check that what you've claimed
your site is about, is, in fact, what it is about - people don't
like being misled.
Tone is important, too
Tone is the general impression you're trying to convey - it can be
casual, formal, persuasive, business like, academic and so on.
What impression are you trying to give? Here are three
of the many possibilities (and how to achieve them):
Casual:
- use short sentences
- include plenty of colloquial expressions
- ask questions of your reader
- use contractions e.g. you're, don't, I'll
- use personal pronouns e.g. I, you, we, us
- choose shorter, rather than longer words e.g. fire not conflagration,
truth not veracity, shop not emporium
- use the active, rather than passive voice e.g. you must remember
to .... instead of, it must be remembered that...
- vary your use of punctuation - dashes (-), ellipses (...), exclamation
marks
A casual style is friendly, relaxed and intimate - you feel that the
writer is speaking directly to you. This is the most popular tone
used on personal home pages and many web business sites.
Formal:
- sentences are longer and more complex in structure
- vocabulary is also more complex and specialized (according to
the subject matter)
- punctuation is more formal (no place for dots and dashes here)
- passive voice can be used (but don't overdo it - it can be too
impersonal)
- personal pronouns (I, me, my, we, us, our) are usually avoided
in favor of it, one and they
A formal style is businesslike, no-nonsense, no time to waste writing.
It is designed to inspire confidence in the ability of the writer
to get on with the job and is commonly used by larger organizations
and companies.
Persuasive
- makes great use of emotive words - consider your response to
these pairs of words: home & hovel; confusion & shambles; unemployed
& dole bludger. By choosing the appropriate word, it's possible
to sway your reader's feelings to your way of thinking.
- sentences are usually short
- ideas are organized very simply - in chronological or reverse
chronological order
- content is carefully selected to present one particular point
of view
- personal pronouns are used, especially us and them
A persuasive style is used when trying to sell something or when trying
to win support for a particular cause.
You can see from these short examples, how important
it is to work out what tone you want to convey in your headline. On
the web, you only have a few seconds to convince your readers to stay
- if they receive a favorable impression, they'll keep reading, if
not ....
Take a look at your home page. What tone does it convey?
(Look at the word choice, sentence length, punctuation etc. and compare
it with the short list above.)
Is this the tone you want to send to your visitors?
Does your headline convey an accurate picture of your whole site!
If not, you now have a few ideas on how to change it.
